In my dream I am walking down an alley in some developing country. Two men stand on either side of my way through, spanning a black net between them. I stop and patiently imply I would like to go through. At this point a young, well-dressed Middle-Eastern man approaches me.

“We are going to kidnap you by wrapping you in that netting and putting you in that van over there. We are with ISIS, you see. Nothing to worry about, we’ll have you say some things for the camera and let you go soon thereafter.”

I thought this was a fair deal, especially because ISIS is known to be professional and to handle their hostages very well. So I decide to go along without a struggle, almost excited about a new adventure.

“Could I pack a bag with some things?” I ask. That was no problem and they drive me to my office and then to my house, where I had stuff I would want for a week or so away. They even let me sit down with my family, who are having a barbecue that afternoon. But I overstay past 2pm, when I had promised to get back to the van, and when I look out the window the charismatic ISIS representative is tapping his watch in display of dissatisfaction.

“I have to go now,” I explain to my family, who are unhappy that I am again doing what I feel like, instead of keeping my family obligation. When they begin to harass me a bit over my decision to leave, I avoid giving a truthful answer, thinking ISIS would not be all that excited if I told everyone. But when the people I care about become upset with me, and I am not 100% certain I will ever see them again, I decide to tell them the truth.

“ISIS is taking me away for awhile and I have to go now so they don’t get upset.”
But they won’t believe me, which makes me angry and sad.
“You will see when I am on the television all around the world. You will see then that I was right, but you didn’t care!”

And so I meekly get into the backseat of the brand new silver-colored Mercedes ISIS van to read from an ISIS prompter in a studio somewhere in Afghanistan to be on TV and am brought back home two weeks later.